The Fall 08-28-2010

The thoughts
the sadness
the loneliness
the void
It still exists
Though it is not dark
it leads to dark places
Places I wish to never go again
It still overwhelms
I fall
    within
The tears want to pour
but I fight
To hold myself up
    to not fall
It's not easy
I don't always win

Beginnings 08-27-2010

Being curious
feeling nervous
the not knowing what will happen
or who these new people will become
The endless possibilities
the ones I can see
the ones I hope for
the chances I want to take
regardless of possibilities
and of hopes
new friends are made
Though I may get hurt
I still win

It hurt 08-27-2010

It hurt, that pain, that break
It hurt
Yet… there was more
    more than just hurt
    more than just pain
I cried
Still more
In that hurt
In those feelings
I felt alive
I knew more than just the hurt
I knew I was still alive
More than just existing
I was living
I am living

Running, Hiding, Scared 05-04-2010

Running
Hiding
Scared
Running from potential
Running from futures
Running from might be's
    could happens
    and what if's
I run from that which does not exist
Hiding from life
Hiding from others
Hiding from me
    myself
    and I
I hide from everything that is now
Scared of leaving my four walls
Scared of leaving my head
Scared of opening up
    letting in
    and being me
I am scared of that which is in my control

Questions 03-15-2010

Questions

Questions
they come in
they go out
they linger
they direct
they get answered
     by lies
     by truth
     by what we wish were true
Questions
they return
theta are forgotten
they maintain
they fuel
they claw for answers
     for lies
     for truth
     for hopes
Questions

A shift 03-02-2010

A shift

Seeing
Thinking
Feeling
Seeing, yet choosing not to
Thinking, yet choosing to ignore
Feeling, yet choosing to disregard
A shift
from what I should
to what I should not
I see, but go blind
I think, but become ignorant
I feel, but only me
A shift
from what shouldn't
back to what should
To see, again with clarity
To think, again about all
To feel, again everything
Seeing
Thinking
Feeling

Restless 03-02-2010

Restless

Restless
Restless hands
Restless mind
Restless Body
Restless
Don't want to sit
Don't' want to wait
Want to touch
Want to feel
Want to create
Yet still I am...
Restless
Restless body
Restless mind
Restless hands
Restless